Well folks, this Wednesday is the season finale of Cycle 6 of America's Next Top Model, which means that Thursday whomever is crowned can begin her duties: fixing the deficit, ending poverty, getting New Orleans back on its feet, and taking fierce-ass photos. Here's how things look:My wishes for ANTM:Danielle, Danielle, DANIELLE! But I will be just as excited if Joanie takes it, just as long as Jade gets gone in the first half hour (It's kind of an "anyone but Bush" situation, Jade you were fun as an adversary but your job is done)
How it will really go for ANTM:Joanie will win, deservedly so, she takes good photos, has a good walk and friggin' went through 12 straight hours of Dental surgery to get rid of that snaggle tooth. That's commitment.Danielle will place second due to the fact that Tyra and the gang are hellbent on making her lose her Southern accent. Sure, that's important for a Top Model, because one day she'll want to have a crappy talk show just like Tyra and you can't do that with a country twang (Tyra does it every day... without talent even!!)Jade will finally get her come-uppance and piss off Twiggy who will finally snap under pressure and bludgeon her to death with a clunky shoe.
Some parting words to the girls who had to immediately pack their bags and go home:
Sara: Nice try. Really! But your karma for stealing Joanie's poses is kinda steep. You're going to go back to that mall you were discovered in... and work there.
Furonda: I hope something comes of your experience because you had the best exit of any eliminated Top Model ever. And I kinda miss your tiara.
Nnenna: You're kind of an emotional mess and hiding a bitch persona. Lose it, work with your smile (warmth is great!!) and find the cure for cancer with your chemistry degree (seriously!! Modeling?)
Brooke: If only you could figure out how to mine that whole "so wrong you're right" look you have going on. Contact J Lo though, I think she needs models for her clothing line and you're a dead ringer.
Leslie: I can't believe it took that long for you to go, I must've dozed off. Fix that walk, MAMA'S FAMILY was funny but shouldn't be idolized as a posture.
Mollie Sue: I will light a candle every day until you get rediscovered. Smile a little more and come back little Sheba. At least as a special guest model next season, mmmkay?
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