Tis the simple things
All free of complication
That makes life sweeter
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Ruminations on America's Next Top Model 3.21.06
Since this is a decison that concerns ALL of America, I thought I'd help national diplomacy with some of my thoughts and concerns regarding this season's crop of future runway and print personalities.
THE GIRLS STILL IN THE RUNNING:
BROOKE - The judges keep labeling her "so wrong she's right". That's bound to backfire somewhere around episode 7 I predict.
DANIELLE - Beautiful and boojee. She's the type that gets Tyra to break face and stand and say "Girlfriend! You got a boootay! Wha Wha!
FURONDA - Say it with me, Fur-on-da. Did a smart thing by passing out a list of rules to the girls on how to act around her (my favorite, "The best person to discuss ME with is MYSELF"). Needs to stop wearing her fake tiara around the house before someone feeds it to her.
MOLLIE SUE - Like a baby Annie Lennox and I think it's high time that a double-name entered the fray.
GINA - Proof that Asian girls can't hold their liquor... wait, make that Asian girls with low self esteem.
LESLIE - Two episodes and I always forget that she's a contestant. Needs to blow out that Latin spice or just go home.
JADE - Every cycle has the girl that has to tell everyone "this is a competition and I came to win". This is that bitch. Pretty, yes. Humble, no. She wants a million, kitten and she's a soldier sistah... you better recognize. Take a good picture Jade or shut up.
JOANIE - Like a reverse Monet, she's weird from afar but nice up close. A plus.
NNENNA - No disrespect, but she has the best sob story of the bunch. Sent away from a father in Kenya she actually is humble (take a note Jade) and exudes real beauty thusly. And she got a bald make-over and can still work it.
KARI - Like a baby Brigette Bardot but she has the craziest lips I've ever seen. Seriously, like bat shit crazy not just crazy crazy.
SARA - Like a tall Scarlett Johanssen this found beauty (she was pulled out of a mall) actually has a the most potential to become the most important American of 2006 (not counting 36 Mafia or that cheerleader who fell on her head and still kept cheering).
GIRLS WHO HAD TO PACK THEIR BAGS AND LEAVE IMMEDIATELY:
KATHY - When the judges of America's Next Top Model keep focusing on your Southern twang and tell you to try hard to change it, they're being nice. They had no intention of ever making you America's Next Top Model.
WENDY - Girl, I feel for you. You escaped Hurricane Katrina to audition for ANTM. But at filming you still hadn't heard from your parents. Obviously you were going to be distracted. Go home, spend some time with your family and try again next season.
KEITH'S PREDICTIONS OF WHO WILL BE IN THE TOP THREE:
SARA
DANIELLE
MOLLIE SUE
wild card - NNENNA
Ooookaaaay, I've spent far too much time on this one. But you know, you can't put a price on being an informed person when it comes to such delicate American positions. I hope I have been helpful.
THE GIRLS STILL IN THE RUNNING:
BROOKE - The judges keep labeling her "so wrong she's right". That's bound to backfire somewhere around episode 7 I predict.
DANIELLE - Beautiful and boojee. She's the type that gets Tyra to break face and stand and say "Girlfriend! You got a boootay! Wha Wha!
FURONDA - Say it with me, Fur-on-da. Did a smart thing by passing out a list of rules to the girls on how to act around her (my favorite, "The best person to discuss ME with is MYSELF"). Needs to stop wearing her fake tiara around the house before someone feeds it to her.
MOLLIE SUE - Like a baby Annie Lennox and I think it's high time that a double-name entered the fray.
GINA - Proof that Asian girls can't hold their liquor... wait, make that Asian girls with low self esteem.
LESLIE - Two episodes and I always forget that she's a contestant. Needs to blow out that Latin spice or just go home.
JADE - Every cycle has the girl that has to tell everyone "this is a competition and I came to win". This is that bitch. Pretty, yes. Humble, no. She wants a million, kitten and she's a soldier sistah... you better recognize. Take a good picture Jade or shut up.
JOANIE - Like a reverse Monet, she's weird from afar but nice up close. A plus.
NNENNA - No disrespect, but she has the best sob story of the bunch. Sent away from a father in Kenya she actually is humble (take a note Jade) and exudes real beauty thusly. And she got a bald make-over and can still work it.
KARI - Like a baby Brigette Bardot but she has the craziest lips I've ever seen. Seriously, like bat shit crazy not just crazy crazy.
SARA - Like a tall Scarlett Johanssen this found beauty (she was pulled out of a mall) actually has a the most potential to become the most important American of 2006 (not counting 36 Mafia or that cheerleader who fell on her head and still kept cheering).
GIRLS WHO HAD TO PACK THEIR BAGS AND LEAVE IMMEDIATELY:
KATHY - When the judges of America's Next Top Model keep focusing on your Southern twang and tell you to try hard to change it, they're being nice. They had no intention of ever making you America's Next Top Model.
WENDY - Girl, I feel for you. You escaped Hurricane Katrina to audition for ANTM. But at filming you still hadn't heard from your parents. Obviously you were going to be distracted. Go home, spend some time with your family and try again next season.
KEITH'S PREDICTIONS OF WHO WILL BE IN THE TOP THREE:
SARA
DANIELLE
MOLLIE SUE
wild card - NNENNA
Ooookaaaay, I've spent far too much time on this one. But you know, you can't put a price on being an informed person when it comes to such delicate American positions. I hope I have been helpful.
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